Excellent Qoutes

• Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
• Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
• Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
• If i ever need a religion, i will worship chocolate cake
• Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
• How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg
• If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
• Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
• The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
• The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working when you get up in the morning, and doesn't stop until you get to the office.
• By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.
• Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes
• In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
• I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
• It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship.
• If u can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots
• Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
• Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
• I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
• I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.
• Diamond was just another piece of coal that did well under pressure